Recently, I dreamt of being diagnosed with a terminal illness, which is why I decided to take a euthanasia (because it sounds better than suicide) pill with a delayed-release formula, and go for a last walk, to die away from home. The lingering, not to mention unpleasant feeling that I was left with compelled me to create this piece, and during several hours it took to bring it into fruition, it evolved into something more than an attempt to capture the miasma of the nightmare... or so it seems to me at least. Largely taking cues from body horror, and intentionally emphasizing weathered textures, Was It Ever Ecstasy, or Only Pain? questions the creative process against the backdrop of existential dread, societal fears, and globalized suffering, with hopefully some hidden meanings left to the beholder to discover.
(original size: 60 x 80 cm)
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